Tired of fighting about money with your spouse? I have a process I work through with all my couples that will help you avoid tireless rounds of the same conversation.
Listen below to hear a look at juggling finances as a couple and how to find peace.
Get a Full Summary of The Podcast Bringing Peace to Countless Couples' Money Problems
So, the person you married doesn't want to spend any money except saving for the future. It's as if every dollar needs to be budgeted, stored and put away for safe keeping.
Or... maybe the opposite...
The person you married is way overspending and can't stop being swayed by the exciting new toy or the "savings" they found at the latest sale.
We're left with a question: What do you do when one spouse wants to spend and the other wants to save?
I have the answer.
Do This Financial Exercise That I Do With Every Couple... And See What Happens Next
What I do with every client isn't anything you couldn't do on your own. So, let me please help you! You can use a pen and paper. You can create a note on your iPhone. But, I want you to do this separately and then come together... ok?
The First Two Steps Are Easy
1. Write Down 3-5 of Your Short-Term Goals
(Think things you would want to accomplish in the next 3 years.)
2. Write Down 3-5 of Your Long-Term Goals
(Think things you would want to accomplish in the next 20-30 years.)
Come together and ask each other one question BEFORE you share your answers.
Before you talk about your goals, ask each other: "What things in your life, if they weren't changed over the next three years, would make you feel like you are not making any progress in life?"
Sidenote: A plan that neglects the next 3 years is more common than a plan that neglects the next 30 years, but both can fail to deliver on your dreams.
OK. Hearing those answers, can you begin to see your focus shift between the next three years and the next 20 years? You can't ignore either one.
But...What's Step Three?
Before the final step, I want to have an honest look at the stress you're feeling.
Often the stress and conflict born from disagreements on money are tied down by uncertainty.
On the surface you may use (or hear) words that convict the other of over-spending, instead of digging deeper into your fears and being honest about the anxiety causing the stress. When your experiencing frequent frustrations around money your plan isn't doing it's job. (Did you just say "What plan?")
The key to more freedom in your marriage is being honest about your dreams.
Now Step Three... It's The Fun One
Get ready to do the goals you wrote down. Live out your dreams. Do it. Really.
3. Prioritize All Your Long-Term and Short-Term Goals
(Achieving them starts by prioritizing them.)
Look at your lists and agree on what is the #1 thing you both want to see happen.
Life won't be perfect, but moving in the same direction will give you amazing peace.
So much of removing this argument is having a plan that gives you peace. I'd be happy to help you take the first steps to being on the same page if you want a moderator, some experience, or a professional financial opinion to chime in on exactly "how" you can achieve your goals for the future.
Want A More Than Money Plan That Works For You?
I would love to hear more about your story and in a non-threatening way share our vision for how More Than Money makes a stand to respect your dreams. Your not saving your money just to reach a big number, you have a life you want to live and things you want to do. We want to get you there. (Our Target Challenge is a great place to start.)
Everyone is in a different stage of need to get closer to their dreams.
Maybe you have a question.
Maybe you need a plan.
Maybe you need to learn to dream again.
Whatever it is don't regret not taking the first step.